Rebel Scum

Adventure I
Tatooine Manhunt

The Rebels track down Adar Tallon, the previously-thought-deceased hero of the Old Republic. Lon punches Jodo Kast once in the Mandalorian face and knocks him out. Adventure over!

(Completed in two sessions)

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Adventure II
Sammo The Hutt

Adventure II Crawl

In return for being late for their cargo shipment to Black Sun Vigo Sammo the Hutt on Nar Shadaa, the Rebels agree to sabotage the political campaign of an Imperial-backed governor on the planet.

They attend a gala and proceed to drug the politician whilst performing lewd acts upon him with a Sullustan caterer, all captured on holovid. The next day the video is given to the local media, and in lieu of the scandal, the hometown Aqualish candidate wins the election.

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Adventure III
Echo Base Operations

Adventure III Crawl

The Rebels are assigned to Echo Base on the remote ice world of Hoth. Major Derlin orders them to investigate a strange reading that their sensors picked up a few days before. After a run-in with a Wampa, the Rebels discover that a pirate, Gundy Barramundack, and his associates have already built a base of operations on Hoth. They deal mainly with spice but are looking to get in to the Wampa smuggling/snuff film business.

The Rebels pose as shipwrecked spacers, and lure two of the pirates back to the Wampa cave where both of them are killed. Lon goes toe-to-toe with a Wampa once again, but it proves to be too mighty, and they’re just narrowly saved by Barramundack who believes the Wampa killed his partners.

Later, Barramundack and his Sullustan are knocked out and taken captive back to Echo Base.

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Adventure IV
Life Day

Adventure IV Crawl

It’s Life Day up in this. And Major Derlin wants spirits extra high when Mon Mothma, Luke Skywalker, and company make a visit to Echo Base between missions. He puts the Rebels in charge of planning a party in the next 24 hours. On the party checklist are Bith melons, Bantha flank, and of course, Bantha jizz, for Carla’s Sullustan delicacy.

On Bespin, the Rebels stock up on food and decorations, and run into The Blue Glowies inside of a dive bar. But their rhythm ommniboxist is none other than Bel’Ding M’ann‘s former college roommate and rival Garrith Gibbl’gak. Words are exchanged, and after a terribly pathetic Bith fistfight, Lu’Pon M’onn agrees to play the party, but he insists on leaving Bespin at once. Someone in the crowd is eying them.

So off they go to Gentes, homeworld of the Ugnaughts to obtain some Bantha jizz. At one of the farms, the Rebels discreetly tag along on a tour of the facilities where Bel’Ding sneakily fills their Rebel canteens to the brim at the Insemination Compound. Mission Accomplished!

Except, on their way back to Hoth, they’re boarded by ISB agents who are after the Blue Glowies. A Blue Glowie almost becomes a premature blue glowie, but he’s ultimately saved from death and the Imperials are defeated.

(Completed in two sessions)

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Adventure V
The Kessel Run

Adventure V Crawl

In return for keeping quiet about the Rebels whereabouts on Hoth, Barramundack proposes that the Rebels assist him with a Kessel Run…in the Millenium Falcon!

Despite hitting a snag with some pesky mynocks on the way, the Rebels reach Kessel without getting sucked into a black hole or shot down by Imperials. But Barramundack’s plan is not to smuggle spice: he wants to save his brother Bundy from the dreaded Spice Mines.

Four or five days are spent as prisoners in awful conditions, where the Rebels manage to befriend a couple of Wookiees named Roree and Yawnee and avoid being raped by a sweaty Gamorrean in the night. They con their way through meeting spice quotas, kill some Glitterstim spiders, and track down Bundy. They also hear tell of an exit route used during a previously quelled mutiny.

After stealing some blasters and a guard’s uniform they make their way out of the mines into complete darkness and an area with hundreds of Glitterstims hanging from the ceiling! Armed with a torch and a glowrod the Rebels manage to stave off the light-sensitive creatures and reach an Imperial docking bay, where more of Bel’Ding’s conning gets them out of some hairy Imperial entanglements.

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Adventure VI
The Jedi Trials

Lambert Christophson contacts Lon in a force dream, urging him to come to Dantooine to continue his training. There, the Rebels infiltrate the old Rebel base and find Morgan Darchganner’s Pazak deck after killing a dianoga.

Lambert had foreseen Lon’s arrival and speaks to him telepathically from below the Rebel base where an ancient Jedi Enclave lay in ruins. It is here where Lon will further his training, by completing three of the Jedi Trials, which are still accessible through contact with ancient blue glowies that reside at the temple.

Lon solves the first Jedi Trial, The Trial of Insight, by solving the riddle: There is a bottle with a mouth just large enough to fit a Kowakian Monkey Lizard egg into. You manage to raise the creature to full growth inside the bottle. How do you get the Kowakian Monkey Lizard out of the bottle without killing it or breaking the bottle? Answer: You wait for it to live out the course of its life, and then gruesomely extract it once it’s dead.

For the Trial of Skill, the Rebels defeat a lightsaber-wielding Sith simulacrum in melee combat.

And lastly, for the Trial of Insight, Lon falls into a deep Force trance. He remembers being on Uvena Prime, seeing his family, but beyond that he can only recall a vague foreboding. When he awakes he is informed by a blue glowie that he has failed the Trial of Insight.

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Adventure VII
Flight of the Gibbl'gak

Adventure VII Crawl

While Lon is still in a Force trance, Bel’Ding receives a transmission from fellow Echo Base Rebel Peter Vendekerkhof who is waiting outside in a Y-Wing bearing this news: Garrith Gibbl’gak has stolen an X-Wing and fled Hoth.

However, the X-Wing has a busted navicomputer that can’t handle any complex astrogation calculations. So the Rebels track Gibbl’gak to Anoat, and then Bespin, where he sold the X-Wing to buy fare for a commercial liner to Coruscant.

With 40-LOM rendezvousing in the Y-Wing, they devise a plan to waylay the commercial transport as it comes out of hyperspace, disable it with the ion cannon, board it, and capture Gibbl’gak. Minus a long-winded conversation and few blaster shots to their sides, things go mostly according to plan. In the shadow of the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, The Lumguzzler makes a daring hyperspace escape. But 40-LOM in his Y-Wing is not so fortunate. He is now considered MIA.

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Adventure VIII
Return to Clak'dor VII

Adventure VIII Crawl

The Rebels go to Clak’Dor VII intent on settling Garrith and Bel’Ding’s feud once and for all: by asking the girl herself, Lin’duh Shul’r. Through Spacebook account stalking and a visit to Lin’duh’s brother’s apartment—Bithcorp CEO K’ryt Shul’r—the Rebels discover that Lin’duh is a bargaining chip in an Empire-Bithcorp merger approved by Moff Trip Elrood, a man with an insatiable appetite for Bith ‘tang. Lin’duh is to be married off to the Moff.

It takes some more sticky investigative work in the red light district to finally devise a workable ruse of posing as wedding planners who need to make some final gown measurements on the bride. After the initial scouting of the situation, the Rebels return to take some wedding photographs and bypass security with a bait and switch using a convincingly disguised street corner hooker to play the part of Lin’duh. And off they go in The Lumguzzler.

As it turns out, Bel’Ding didn’t exactly steal Lin’duh away from Garrith (although he did end up getting to second base with her in the backseat of his parents’ star cruiser); he just let her come along for the ride when he bailed school. High on spice and looking to explore the galaxy on his own, he ditched Lin’duh on Duro. It was just another hazy footnote in Bel’Ding’s crazy Bith life.

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Adventure IX
Sabaacteurs

Adventure X Crawl

In an effort to track down the lost Alliance X-Wing, the Rebels return to Riga’Tonee’s Space Repairs on Cloud City and discover that the ship has already been purchased by the Baron Administrator Lando Calrissian. After talking with some sabaac players in town, the Rebels are informed of an exclusive tournament being held by the man himself. Bel’Ding then challenges local champion Snuda the Snivvian to a sabaac match and wins, gaining the attention of Lando’s talent scouts, and thus earning them an invite to Lando’s tournament, which is being held offworld on a space station orbiting Ord Mantell.

It turns out that one of the tourney prizes is the X-Wing starfighter, along with a disruptor pistol, and Lando’s old casino yacht The Works Every Time.

After defeating the likes of some of the most talented gamblers in the galaxy like Hal Detchrunner, human rogue, and Nato K’ek, Jawa slicer, Bel’Ding manages to make it to the last round. But rather than face Lando, Bel’Ding matches his wits against Lobot, the walking computer and master sabaac cheater. It’s a hard fought battle, requiring the covert slicing of Vandekervoodle to overcome Lando’s cyborg. But just as the keys to The Works Every Time are handed over to the Rebel scum, an explosion roars down the hallway, followed by the familiar scream of blaster fire and the clacking footsteps of what could only be Imperial Stormtroopers.

Bel’Ding and Peter make a run for it amidst the chaos, and cross paths with none other than lipstick wielder/force-punch-guy Lon Startripper, who had cut his training short with Lambert because of a disturbing Force vision. He knew Bel’Ding was in trouble, and through sheer will of the Force he found himself on the station orbiting Ord Mantell only moments before the Imperials arrived. And now there was a strange Jawa yipping at his heels, begging the furry man to save him.

The reunited Rebels and their smelly Jawa cohort skulk about the station and eventually find their prize ship along with the Alliance’s X-wing in a small docking bay. But they’re met by Deedak, the Rodian gambler whom Bel’Ding beat in the Semi-Finals. And he’s carrying his 3rd place prize disrupter pistol.

(Completed in two sessions)

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Adventure X
Wookiee Aids

When the rebels get back to Echo Base, they discover that almost everyone is infected with Wookiee AIDS, a deadly virus that decimates Wookiee populations and slowly kills other species. Even Mon Mothma is infected. Through deductive reasoning, the party determines that Lon Startripper, during that sordid Life Day party months ago, infected Mon Mothma and Kaarla the Sullustan Sandwich Artist, who then spread the disease to everybody else (because, well, she gets around). Where Lon contracted the virus no one knows, but due to the fact that he is biologically so unlike a Wookiee, he suffers no ill effects.

Roree and Yawnee tell the party that the only way to cure Wookiee AIDS is with a special bacta formula using plants that are only found at the bottom floor of the forests of Kashyyyk, The Shadowlands, where heinous beasts lurk.

The Rebels manage to pass through an Imperial blockade by posing as researchers escorting an AIDS resistant Wookiee, who needs to be taken to a medical facility for testing. They eventually get down into the Shadowlands, led by Roree who hadn’t been there since his coming of age ritual.

Soon the Rebels are accosted by a group of marauding, swoop-riding Trandoshans who are searching for Wookiee stragglers. They try and fail to net the Wookiees, but manage to get Lon, who they mistake for a Wookiee, and a speeder bike chase ensues as Peter heads after them. In the end, the Rebels defeat the Trandoshans, save one who surrenders. And as the party contemplates what they should do with him, Roree breaks his neck making the decision much simpler.

Roree the leads the group through the forest quite deftly, avoiding any katarns and the like, until the Rebels are surrounded by a group of Wookiee insurgents. Once alliances get sorted out, they Wookiees agree to help the Rebels infiltrate the medical facility, where heinous Imperial experiments are said to take place.

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